3.12.07

Exploring: my bookcase (part 5)





How to be a man - John Birmingham

Another Birmo book, this time another collection of various anecdotes and useful tips about masculinity - everything from how to behave in a brothel to how to spot a conman, why noone should wear Greek fisherman's caps (unless they are both Greek and a fisherman) and even George Orwell's guide to making the perfect cup of tea.



Dude - Where's my country? - Michael Moore

More pointed, hilarious and insightful commentary from Michael Moore about Bush, the war for oil and all the things that are wrong with the conservative agenda.



World War Z - an oral history of the zombie war - Max Brooks

Max (son of Mel) Brooks follows up The Zombie Survival guide with a brilliant broad vision of a global zombie epidemic and how humanity fights back.


Premiere Pro 1.5 - Studio techniques - Rosenberg

How-to guide for my video editing package of choice (well, given the absence of a Mac for Final Cut Pro and a more specced up PC to run Avid)




The Latham Diaries - Mark Latham


Mark Latham is seen as a bit of a political punchline these days but I remember the possibilities he offered back in early 2004 and still have a bit of respect for his passion and some of his ideas. His diaries offer a highly informative view of the insides of modern politics.



Camping in Victoria - Boiling Billy publications

I did the cubs/scouts/jamboree/dork thing in my youth and carry to this day an enjoyment of camping. This is all the main sites in Victoria and may come in useful over the break if I get adequately organised.



TV Guide - December 16-22, 1989.

As a bit of a media junkie, this seemed like a good souvenir to pick up on my last visit to the U.S back in the late 80s. I'm pretty sure it features the first appearance on TV of The Simpsons.



Lynch on Lynch - edited by Chris Rodley

A collection of interviews covering the entire career of one of my top 3 filmmaking heroes, David Lynch. (the other 2 are the Coen Brothers and probably Tim Burton).
It doesn't make the movies make any more sense but they just don't have to, being the screen dreams that I see them as.



Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk

One of the few instances where I think the film is better than the book - it's still awesome but the film just seems a tiny bit tighter. Currently reading Palahniuk's newy - Rant. (so far, so superb)



Don Watson - Death Sentence

Paul Keating's former speechwriter writes a smarty and witty (although sometimes verging on Grumpy-old-menish) attack on the decay of public language and the rise of weasel words.



The Zombie Survival guide - Max Brooks

Very cool book of logical, practical ideas to surviving a zombie outbreak - played with a very straight bat. Top tips - avoid hospitals (this is where these things generally start) and hole up on the second floor of a building after destroying the staircase.

30.11.07

Exploring: My bookcase (part 4)



The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco is the sequel (of sorts) to that cult classic of share house literature, He Died With a Felafel in his Hand by John Birmingham. Where Felafel (great book, horrible-point-missing film) was a collection of true stories from a range of people, Fiasco seeks to weave these stories together (plus some new ones) into a more coherent single flowing narrative.

This works pretty well - there are plenty of LOL moments in the book and the return of many fave characters from Felafel.

This is the publicity blurb

When JB and his flatmates took in the new guy they had their doubts. The Celine Dion albums, the fluffy hordes of stuffed animals and the plastic-covered floral-pattern love seat should have set their threat detectors singing. But nobody was paying attention.

Within days their house had become a swirling maelstrom of death metal junkies and Drug War narcs, stolen goods and hired goons, Tasmanian Babes, karate dykes, evil yuppies, dopey greens and the Sandmen of the Terror Data.

Now the flatmates have one week to sober up, find two thousand dollars and catch the runaway new guy before Pauline Hanson, the federal government, cops, crims, their landlord and some very angry lesbians tear their house down and stomp them to jelly.

Can a bunch of hapless losers hope to defeat such an unholy alliance?




The Felafel/Fiasco duo was largely what prompted me to buy Weapons of Choice - World War 2.1, also by John Birmingham. While I do like a bit of sci-fi and am definitely interested in what-if style speculative fiction, I wouldn't generally head towards war focussed books in general.

This one (the first part of a trilogy) tells an interesting tale though of a modern multinational military fleet in 2021 (20 years into the War on Terror) who are accidentally (of course) sent back right into the middle of an American naval fleet smack dab in the middle of World War 2. The introduction of modern/futuristic and far superior technology as well as knowledge of the outcome of the war, in addition to culture clashes between the old and new generations offer some very interesting ideas.

At points it gets a little Tom (Hunt for Red October) Clancy technothriller-ish for me and there is a War and Peace style cast of 1000s but Birmingham does put together a cracking read which gets better through the series.



I mentioned The White Earth previously while talking about Andrew McGahan's Last Drinks in the previous bookcase post so I'll just say that it's a good story well told - a little more farmer family melodrama than is to my general tastes though.



Lullaby by Chuck (Fight Club) Palahniuk is easily one of my favourite books - he manages to cram in so many out-there ideas about life and little odd spots of trivia while at the same time telling a great "what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?" story.

In essence, a journalist discovers a culling song - an ancient poem that painlessly kills anyone that you say it to - in an obscure book of children's rhymes from around the world. Issues of media saturation - the endless unceasingly noisy world in which we live mix with the world of magic in a gripping story told with Palahniuk's dark and slicing wit.



This is a classic modern Australian tale that picks up from where Praise left off. Gordon, the central figure (you wouldn't exactly say hero) of Praise takes off to the top end of the country to work on an isolated weather station for a year while sorting himself out. Not a lot happens but that's the sort of guy he is and yet the writing really captures a mood and keeps you truly engaged.



Michael Moore has fallen out of favour a little in recent years for his opinionated (yet well researched and generally very accurate) dissection of modern Western (ok, mostly American) political issues. Personally I think he's tops and hilarious to boot.

Sure he can overplay things and doesn't aim for balance but given the lies and rhetoric of the rich and powerful that he tends to go after, I don't blame him in the least for playing by their rules.

This book, released midway through George Dubya Bush's first term lays out in painstaking (and yet hilarious) fashion all the painful truths about Dubya that it took a lot of other people 3 or 4 more years to work out. He also looks at a range of other social issues that really are too stupid to still be existing in this century.

Remember when everything was looking up? When the government was running at a surplus, pollution was disappearing, peace was breaking out in the Middle East and Northern Ireland, and the Bridge to the Twenty-First Century was strung with high-speed Internet cable and paved with 401K gold? Well, so much for the future. Whether he's calling for United Nations action to overthrow the Bush Family Junta, calling on African-Americans to place whites only signs over the entrances of unfriendly businesses, or praying that Jesse Helms will get kissed by a man, Michael Moore is out to cure the world of a plague of stupid white men.




John Ralston Saul is kind of the flip side to Michael Moore. He has also identified a number of things with the way the world is being run that desparately need to be changed but he applies a devastating intellect to the problem.

This book addresses the rule of the technocrat in modern politics and the over-emphasis on so-called rational approaches to society that always just seem to end up benefitting a privileged few.

This is what Wikipedia says about him (which is much better than my initial description :)

As an essayist Saul is particularly known for his commentaries on the nature of individualism, citizenship and the public good; the failures of manager-, or more precisely technocrat-, led societies; the confusion between leadership and managerialism; military strategy, in particular irregular warfare; the role of freedom of speech and culture; and his critique of contemporary economic arguments.


The guy is pretty well my intellectual/philosophical hero - I only wish I was smart enough to grasp everything that he has to say sometimes. :)



I've tried to plug away at script writing for years now - a few things have been made, some have turned out reasonably well and others less so - but I can't say that this book really had anything much to do with it either way.

I buy a lot of books like this with great intentions when I'm wanting to get stuck into projects but don't really know how to start. There is (from memory) a fair bit of useful structural stuff for telling stories the way movie producers want them to be told (before they hand over their cash). He's come in for a degree of criticism for this because of the importance producers have come to attach to his structures when assessing the scripts that come before them. (In fairness, he himself says that his structures should be seen as much more flexible than this)

Interestingly, he doesn't actually seem to have written anything himself beyond a handful of tv episodes and has consulted (according to Wikipedia) on a total of 3 movies in the early 90s.



I've always had a fascination with the media and the way they shape our ideas (and therefore our society) and the work of Canada's Media Foundation and their culture jamming magazine Adbusters.

Kalle Lasn helped found this non-profit anti-consumerist organisation in 1989 and has a number of interesting things to say in this book in particular about how we as citizens (rather than "consumers") can work to change the balance. At times though it gets a little preachy but there is still plenty of interesting information and ideas to make the book worthwhile.

Definitely check out Adbusters though. They run cool events like Buy Nothing Day and TV Turn-off week.

Also on the shelf there you can see a Camomile and Spearmint teabag - my preferred herbal tea of an evening (though this isn't such a regular thing). There's also a bent paperclip - might have been for rebooting the computer but most likely it's there because I can be a bit of a compulsive fiddler. Not sure why the coin is there and the A on the right hand side broke off the zipper of a fleecy jacket I have. I could have thrown it away but I guess somewhere I thought it might come in handy for something.

29.11.07

Buying: a bedframe

Just when you'd think that election day 07 couldn't get any more exciting, the PC and I took the opportunity to get out and look for a bed frame to go with the mattress we got a couple of weeks back. (Oh yeah, it's getting domestic at stately Couch Media manor :)

Now I'll admit that I'm probably not a great person to go shopping with - I generally find the whole process exhausting - not as much physically as mentally. It's just hyped-up overstimulation as far as the eye can see. Endless rooms with things (that we don't even necessarily need) displayed in such a way as to attract the most attention. It all feels a little too materialistic and controlling. (Don't get me started on the layout of Ikea stores.)

Add to this the fact that the PC and I have relatively differing tastes in furniture and you have the foundations of a fun expedition. In fairness I've made strides in coming around to the idea that it's time to have a slightly more grown-up bedroom with matching furniture that no longer looks like that of a just-out-of-home student (which is something of a step) but where I think that dark wood looks pretty cool, the PC leans more towards much lighter colours as well as metals.

The thing about shopping is that you can look at so many things that it becomes hard to remember what was good and why. But bless the phone cam here, it was a big help.

These are the frames that made the shortlist.



First shop out and we seemed to be doing well - I liked this one (The Tokyo) although I was less sure about the pine and the headboard seemed a little wobbly. Is it possible to make your decision in the first shop when you're buying something big and exxy like this?
Not so much - just too much risk that you'll miss something better. I liked the lowness and the asian feel. (Having had a futon for the last 16 years)



The Xenia - similar to the Tokyo but plainer. Again the headboard felt a little weak and the name seemed a little stupid. It was also right next to the Tokyo so it was hard to give it points.



No idea what this one was called - nice and simple, not too light but there was something about the shop that felt a little NQR so I wasn't so enthused.



This one was in a cheapy backalley pine furniture warehouse, and while I like the idea of being able to put things on the bedhead, this one seemed like it would be easy to whack your head or neck on.



The ultimate winner - light and dark wood (Tasmanian oak if memory serves), a slightly asian feel, slightly unusual tapered legs and importantly, set up in it's own little corner to make it look more like a proper bedroom. Obviously this is a hard thing to do with limited space but it made it so much easier to imagine at home. The bedside tables are nice as well but at $450 each, a little overpriced.

The one downside is that because of summer (or something), most factories are winding down production and shipping and we may have to wait until late Jan.



Of course, we kept looking after finding the winner - just to be sure - as you do. Not entirely sure what the PC liked in this one - though it's hard to look at it seriously with those big polka-dots on it.



This one was a contender for a while - big and solid and kind of warm looking - but heavy as a bastard and looking like it would completely dominate any bedroom. (Of course, I guess it's called a bedroom for a reason).



We both actually guiltily admitted to liking this baby - the pic doesn't entirely do it justice, that's a fire-engine red leather number we're talking about here. It's just so cheesy it was hard to go past - but given that it already looks like some kind of 80s throwback and there is virtually no space underneath for storage, it just couldn't be.

An interesting experience but not one I'll need to do again for a while.

28.11.07

WOWing: Lingro, online instant translation tool



I haven't been this impressed by an online tool for a very long time - Lingro allows you to view any webpage or word/pdf/text document in your browser and instantly get a translation or definition of any word on the screen.

From there you can also create your own wordlists and then play a flashcard game to test your knowledge of the translations/definitions. You can also click on a speaker icon in your translation/definition to hear the word being pronounced.

It's slick looking site that just works really well - it takes a few moments to load up but after that you're off and running. You can also add a button to your browser called "lingro this page!" that will allow you to view whichever page you are looking at in the lingro viewer.

Truly awesome. (Click on images for full sized view)







27.11.07

Writing: gags for radio

I'm starting to figure out a few things about the gags I'm writing - I think they need to be a little punchier, get to the point earlier and maybe be a little more off tangent.

Of these ones, I liked the first and last best.

Former Prime Minister John Howard, former treasurer Peter Costello, former foreign minister Alexander Downer, former health minister Tony Abbott, former immigration minister Kevin Andrews and former I.R minister Joe Hockey...actually there is no story here but doesn't the word former sound great in front of all those names.


Former health minister Tony Abbott and former environment minister have announced that they will contest the Liberal Party leadership in a vote due to be held later this week. Mr Abbott said he has demonstrated "reasonably good people skills" and could "give a knock and take a knock" - indicating that he's probably not very good at "knock knock" jokes


Former immigration minister Kevin Andrews has defended his bizarre actions in tearing down opposition candidate posters at a polling booth on Saturday on "environmental grounds"

"Well for God's sake" he is reported to have said - "first you think we hate the environment and then when we try to recycle something you jump all over us"


Prime Minister-elect Kevin Rudd is setting wheels in motion to sign the Kyoto Protocol and to reverse the workchoices legislation, however there are concerns that he is starting to confuse the two following his announcement today that Australia will commit to burning 10% less working families by 2010


All suggestions and ideas are welcome :)

26.11.07

Playing: lefty songs of celebration

Surprisingly enough, I'm feeling rather chipper today - former Prime Minister J-Ho has finally been booted from office, former Treasurer Costello has piked it and all seems well with the world.

I realise that it's a little churlish to carry on too much like a porkchop about the change of government but hopefully people will indulge me with the selection of tunes for today's Monday sunset show. Normal service will resume next week :)

So I've chosen a selection of lefty themed songs for Prime Minister Ruddy (to remember where he comes from) and a few on-your-bike former Prime Minister Johnny et al songs to make up for 11 years of dodginess and national soul-besmirching.

The Red Flag - Billy Bragg - The Internationale 3:13

This is one of the anthems of the socialist/lefty movement and seems somehow the most appropriate. This version uses the originally intended tune, the jaunty Jacobite anthem called The White Cockade, instead of the usual, slightly dull tune that is generally used, that being "O Christmas Tree/Tannenbaum"

These are a few of the lyrics:

The people's flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyr'd dead
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts' blood dyed its ev'ry fold.

Then raise the scarlet standard high,
Within its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here.

It well recalls the triumphs past;
It gives the hope of peace at last:
The banner bright, the symbol plain,
Of human right and human gain.

It suits today the meek and base,
Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place,
To cringe before the rich man's frown
And haul the sacred emblem down.


Which side are you on - Billy Bragg - Back to basics 2:35

Another Billy Bragg song, mostly because I still have strong memories of going to a friends 21st birthday in a pub in South Melbourne in 92 on the night Jeff Kennett was elected premier of Victoria, getting completely stonkered and singing Billy Bragg songs in a bloke circle rather loudly in commiseration.

This song seems particularly apt as the opening verse talks all about the government passing anti-union laws and this was (imho) what finally brought former Prime Minister Howard and Co. down.

Sulk - Billy Bragg - Accident waiting to happen 3:47

One more Bill tune to finish up - I was pretty happy to hear that former foreign minister Alexander Downer cracked the sads on election night and refused to talk to the media. The next morning he came out and pronounced that he'd known all year they were going to lose this election. Lexie, this one goes out to you. Please, do us all a favour and run for the Liberal leadership.

'Tis of thee - Ani Di Franco - Up Up Up Up Up Up - 4:43

This is a little more broadly lefty and is a beautiful song telling of the people who get left behind when governments focus exclusive on the dollar over society.

Mao Tse Tung Said - Alabama 3 - Exile on Coldharbour Lane 5:17

There was a pretty cool YouTube video that popped up during the election that told the story of Prime Minister Ruddy in the style of a chinese propaganda film. (Because, you know, he's fluent in Chinese)



This song has a little bit about Mao and is just cool in general - it also talks about change.

Fortress Europe - Asian Dub Foundation - Enemy of the Enemy 3:53


Without doubt, one of the most disgusting elements of the (former Prime Minister) Howard era was his racist attitude to refugees and Muslims. This song, while about Europe in this instance, captures this vibe.

Little Animals - Beasts of Bourbon - Little Animals 5:14

I just generally like this song and it touches on environmental themes (although it gets somewhat cynical or something at the end), which are another area that the Howard government rather screwed the pooch on.

New Kid - The Bellrays - Australiapithicus 2:23

This track is lively and (Prime Minister) Rudd is the new kid but beyond that, it's probably a bit of a stretch. The album does have Australia in it though and did anyone else here the open rock riff that played on Saturday night when he took the stage for the victory speech? What was that all about?. (and what was it?)

Most likely you'll go your way and I'll go mine - Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde 3:24

Apparently (former PM) Johnny has said that his favourite musician is Bob Dylan - but only for the music, not for the lyrics (which tend to lean to the left.) I've never been entirely sure whether he's just said this because he thinks it will wind the lefties up or not but whatever the case, this seems like something of an appropriate selection for a goodbye/piss-off song.

A big star The City Lights Escape from tomorrow today 2:56

This song is a slightly older one in that it references former Health Minister Tony Abbott (a.k.a the mad monk) as Industrial relations minister. It's a top song though and highlights the out-of-touchness and harshness of the former government even back then.

Hallelujah - Custard - Goodbye Cruel World 4:59

Just a beautiful song in general and fairly obvious I'd imagine.

I'm sorry! Little Johnny (a.k.a Pauline Pantsdown) Rock against Howard 3:33

Rock against Howard was a (slightly patchy) album that came out around the 2004 election and this one finally allows us to here (former PM) Howard using the much avoided "sorry" word. Some very clever cutting up of Howard audio clips into a good novelty dance track, featuring former PM Howard announcing that he's the "genius of love"

December Skies - Cowboy Junkies - Early 21st Century Blues - 5:19

Beautiful modern anti-war song

Bougainville Sky - Fred Smith - Bagarap Empires 3:19

Another beautiful song about our neighbours to the near north and a fight against a big mining company.

Time to go - The Fuelers - Hot Dang 3:54

Apparently it is. (Actually, I would have said this in 98 but apparently a small number of key electorates disagreed - even though Labor actually won the majority vote)

Mullay - Muyngarnbi - Songs from Walking with the Spirits 4:00

Former Prime Minister Howard's attitude towards the Aboriginal community in this country was woeful at best, with the recent intervention little more than a tactical political strategy to shift the focus of criticism to the states and at the same time strategically grab a bunch of land. This track is interesting in that it merges Aboriginal vocals and "western" instrumentals

Out of time - The Rolling Stones - Aftermath - 3:44

Out of touch and out of time - kind of says it all really.


God's gonna cut you down - Johnny Cash - American V: A Hundred Highways 2:39

Former PM Howard could only cosy up to the money obsessed new evangelical Christians while acting like a jerk for so long before he got what what was coming.

What a wonderful world - Nick Cave and Shane McGowan - B-side and rarities II 3:03

Right now, to me it is a wonderful world.

Singapore Tom Waits Beautiful Maladies: The Island Years 2:46

I've just finished reading a book of interviews with and articles about Tom Waits - there's not necessarily a big connection to (former PM) Howard here although you could argue that his attitudes towards Asia leave something to be desired.

Home is where the hatred is - Esther Phillips - The Best of Blaxploitation 3:26

One of the worst aspects of the (former PM) Howard government's political strategy was the way it used the Karl Rove / George W Bush approach of social division, smear and general negativity to foster fear and selfishness. This song looks at that in broad terms in a powerful way.

Now sure, I'll admit I may be venting a bit about the man and his cohorts but after today, I'll try to move on and look at the world with positivity. For all the people out there who believe that he deserves respect, I'll give him that for his action on gun control after the Port Arthur massacre and for going into East Timor, but his much vaunted handling of the economy could have been done by a five year old with the amount of money flowing into the place from China.

Let the Rudd revolution begin.

(Please don't fuck this up Kevin)

25.11.07

Waking: from a horrible 11 year nightmare

Well done Australia.

Say goodbye Johnny, you lying, sleazy, devious, fanatical, mean little rodent.

23.11.07

Pondering: the "thoughts" of Barnaby Joyce

What kind of thoughts are we talking about here exactly Senator?



(Yes I know this is a little childish, but he said it on Lateline the other night and I couldn't let it slip by)

Asking: for your Movember support

I mentioned earlier in the month that I'm growing a moustache to raise money for Men's Health during Movember and I'd like to take the opportunity to ask for your donations/sponsorship/cash now.



As you can see, it's coming along - I look slightly more dodgy every day and I've apparently been providing no small degree of amusement to those who know me. (Which I'm fine with).

Anyways, it is a worthy cause - it focuses largely on research into mental health and prostate cancer as well as generally just encouraging men to be more involved in their well-being.

If you're in the neighbourhood, I'm happy to take money off you directly or you can just click on this button to do it online.

Movember - Sponsor Me

cheers and thanks

22.11.07

LOLing: webstuff

Len pointed me towards a LOLcats and PostSecret mashup kind of site, obviously known as lolsecretz. If you were wondering, LOLcats are the cat pictures with cute, semi-literate (because we all know cats can't spell very well in spite of their general sense of superiority) and PostSecret is a sort of public confessional.

This was a fave image from the site



Something else that I found online today was a comment about the whole Jackie Kelly Muslim pamphlet thing (which I'm loving, I might add - as soon as I heard her on the radio this morning trying to claim it was a Chaser style prank, I knew it would be a good day).

It was an observation really, that if you take the term Liberals and Nationals, you get an anagram of "Lies and no brains at all"

2 more sleeps.

21.11.07

Watching: Election videos on YouTube

These are variously funny, over the top, clever and slightly off - often all in the one. Still, I like the fact that people are able to creatively express themselves about these issues and publish it to the world - ideas-wise, this is a good time.

I found these all via the Unleashed section of the ABC website, which is a very interesting collection of rants and raves about election issues. (Check out anything by the resident Colonel Blimp-esque right wing ranter and Howard biographer David Barnett if you get the chance - unintentional comedy gold)

(Update: Barnett's latest column on Unleashed includes this pearler of a line, which I assume is unintentional -
But he doesn't need to worry about the challenge of the holders of temporary visas working in the sex industry. The Minister for Immigration Kevin Andrews, if he gets time before Saturday will root out the holders of temporary visas from the sex industry, including those working in legal brothels.


This first one has become a bit of a favourite target for parody, the video piracy message they stick on the start of all those dvds you pay good money for, only to be made to feel like a common thief.



We move into the longest string of cricket terms as sex puns I've ever seen. Throw in John and Janette getting down for some wrinkly sex and The Don and it's everything you wish you had never thought of before.



Noisy spruiker style message which runs slightly too long about our obsession with the economy and materialism. Tiny bit preachy but a strong underlying idea.

20.11.07

Writing: gags for radio



Well I said I was considering it last week and I actually pulled out the pen and had a go at writing some fake (and hopefully funny) news stories last night while I was doing the show. (Monday Sunset on 2XX, 98.3fm Canberra 4-6pm)

I'd been toying with one of the ideas during the week but the rest was pretty well made up on the spot in response to news stories on the Yahoo7 website (the only local news source that isn't blocked on the studio computer.)

Unlike last week, delivery came out fairly well, very straight down the line and hopefully a few people got a giggle or two.

I wasn't organised enough to arrange a recording but maybe next time. The stories were generally prefaced with - "turning now to Monday Sunset news"


Workplace Relations minister Joe Hockey today announced that 70% of all trade union officials are in fact evil killer robots sent back in time from the future to harvest our organs. When asked if this was just a desperate attempt to scare voters, he replied "You're one of them,aren't you - everybody run"


(In the initial, read-out version, the robots planned to "steal our kittens" but I think this reads better. I also toyed with "kill Bindi Irwin" in there as well but I thought it would need someone cuter and more universally loved.)

Greens Senator Bob Brown last night announced on Rove Live that he would turn straight for Missy Higgins. Missy Higgins announced that she was gay and she likes Bob "as a friend"


A report from the Department of Prime Miniature and Cabinet today confirmed that the government spent nearly $200 million dollars on advertising in the last financial year. Opposition spokeswoman for public administration and accountability, Penny Wong, said that the government would have benefited more from buying 200 million gags for Tony Abbott and Alexander Downer.


Labor I.T spokesman Stephen Conroy today announced that a Rudd government will censor the internet to fight cyberbullying using a sophisticated filtering system. Terms that will be automatically blocked include beep, beep, beep and earwax.


The Liberal Party has been asked to "please explain" why they are giving preferences to One Nation in a number of NSW seats in spite of a 2001 pledge to put that party last. Fresh from a weekend bonding with the Korean and Chinese communities of Bennelong, John Howard said - I'm not a racist, but...

Joe Hockey quickly interjected, asking journalists if they were aware that 70% of trade union officials are actually killer robots sent back in time from the future...


Two of the finalists of Australian Idol have backed away from claims
that the song they will release as Idol winner is... no, wait, my apologies, that's not news, that's trivia.

(Actually, in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I just unconsciously borrowed that from Newstopia)

19.11.07

Buying: a mattress



While it may appear from the title that I've bottomed out in the blogging topic stakes, this is hopefully a little more interesting than you might think.

The PC and I have had some bedding issues for a little while now - I'm a futon man, liking the firmness whereas she much prefers a softer bed. This has meant that neither of us has ever slept really well in the other's bed and well then you get the tiredness and then the crankiness and so on and so forth.

It struck me that if they can put the internet on your fridge (never quite figured out why though) then there must be a technological solution to this issue as well. (As much as a bed might be considered technology)

Working out how to search for it was the main problem - "different sided bed"? Fortunately, just trying the mattress makers directly brought up the solution - I'm not so much the corporate shill so I'm not going to name names (well not without some kind of financial inducement) but suffice to say after a little more research and a trip out to Canberra's bedding heart (for a number of reasons) - Fyshwick and a fair bit of lying down, a solution has been found.

The mattress in question comes in four firmnesses (as in the top image) and there were 3 options for what it's made off. Standard innerspring (cheaper, cooler and firmer), latex (better for allergies and more form-fitting) and this funky air-inflated thing that you can change settings on with a little individual remote control (see, there is a technological solution). So now my half is a 4 and the PC has a 2.



One of their promotional images on the website interested me on a few levels. The cat looks a lot like a very friendly cat that lives in the neighbourhood and comes to visit from time to time (we know him as the Ginger Ninja) and the other part is the questionable use of a Godfather reference in the horses head in the bed thing. (I'm sure it's meant to represent a whole horse but still... :)

Anyways, having decided to lash out on the mattress, we've also decided to supersize it to a kingsize, which means that a new base and sheets etc are also in order. Hmm, it's all starting to feel rather grown-up.

16.11.07

Looking for: omens



About 200 metres from The Lodge (official but generally unused residence of the Prime Miniature of Australia) there is a stench that will "outlast religion" (thanks to Kenny for that one)

It's the smell of death - in particular a road-killed kangaroo that's been there for a few weeks now - and even though it's a rancid thing to ride past every day at my 15 or 16kmh (it's on a slope), I've been able to spin the experience by taking it as a sign of the last days of the Howard government.

So okay, we've got the smell of death between John Howard's house and Parliament but beyond that, isn't it a bit of a stretch? Well maybe but hear me out.

A couple of years ago, in a bid to make sure that noone ever made the mistake of not knowing where every last little porkbarrelled government service came from, our Johnny rebadged (at no small expense) every government department with the very prominent Australian coat of arms featuring an emu and a kangaroo.

Interestingly the kangaroo appears on the left of the coat of arms and in a last ditch bid to make himself appealing to "all Australians" (a.k.a the people he promised to govern for in 1996), Howard has been trying to drag his tired old frame to the left - discovering a magic new support for Aboriginal reconciliation, embracing the socialised health system Medicare that he'd previously pledged to "sink the knife into and destroy it for once and for all" and promising to dole out welfare payments (to the middle-class and rich at least) like there's no tomorrow.

Now let me draw a slightly longer bow here just to enhance my point - John Howard is a self-described cricket tragic and you get the feeling that given the chance, he'd probably jump the decaying bones of former Australian cricket captain Don Bradman. Captain is also sometimes known as the skipper and Skippy was a popular 1960's tv show about - you guessed it - a kangaroo.



Given that Howard has managed to drag Labor leader Kevin Rudd to the right, presumably that makes him the emu (if this whole thing is going to work.)

Spooky huh?

(I really have a lot of time to think about crap on my morning bike ride :)

15.11.07

Exploring: My bookcase (Part 3)



It's been a little while between drinks but here's the latest installment of exploring my bookcase. (Ta daaaa)

Talking about drinks, Last Drinks is a cracker of a read from one of Oz's most interesting authors of recent years, Andrew McGahan. He kicked off with Praise, the epitome of northern slackerdom, in 1992 which was made into a beautifully bleak film in 2000 with a soundtrack by Dirty 3. Moved on to an equally impressive followup in 1995 with the book 1988, a tale of two lads manning an isolated weather station in the Top End.

He's also written a historical saga type thing set on a crumbling Queensland farm (White Earth) and a crackingly funny and biting action satire of Australia in The War Against Terror in Underground. (Download a sample chapter here - it's well worth it)


Last Drinks is in another category again - much more the old-school crime/detective type novel. This is the cover blurb

It's a decade since the infamous Inquiry into corruption tore the state of Queensland apart. But for George Verney, disgraced journalist and bit-player in the great scandals of his day, the Inquiry has never quite finished. After ten years of self-imposed exile, drawn by the terrible death of a man who was his friend, he reluctantly returns to Brisbane, the city of his downfall. In a town he no longer recognises and through an underworld that has forgotten him, George must seek out the other hidden survivors of his times, to confront the truth about their common past, and to find a way to let the dead rest in peace.


There's not really much to say about this book - I really enjoyed it - I enjoyed it's use of language, the vibe it set, learning more about the sleazier parts of Brisbane and just generally getting drawn in to a cracking story.





The next two books, I have to admit, I haven't gotten around to reading yet. I'm not even 100% sure where they came from - probably borrowed though I have a recollection of gathering up a few books from a pile left on a nature strip in one of the "nice" suburbs of Sydney which is where I think the Kate Grenville might have come from.

I haven't read anything by these authors either, though I did see a half-decent stalker/relationship movie based on an Ian McEwan book (Enduring Love) which was interesting enough.

The next four books are parts 3-6 of the Harry Potter series (septilogy?). You may have heard of these books, I'm not sure - they're about a boy wizard, his wand and his relationship with his gay headmaster. :)



On top of these books is the manual for my Samsung Z140 mobile phone - a very generous gift from my friend Buj - who preferred to keep her current phone when she changed plans and they threw in a freeby upgrade.

I like a good manual when I get a new toy - uh, device. I'll go through it cover to cover and play with every feature and function and then promptly forget about 90% of them.



To the right of this is the travel scrabble - I love a good word game, particularly one with tiny tiny pieces that stick together magnetically

Finally, we have the badminton shuttlecocks. Badminton is a great game (generally a bit crap outside if there's more than a skerrick of wind) - it's fast, requires a certain finesse and involves things flying about.

It's just a little unfortunate that the equipment has such an odd name (which appeals to my slightly juvenile side). Wikipedia (I suspect I came across it in between better edits) doesn't really help here -
The name shuttlecock is frequently shortened to shuttle. The abbreviation cock is rarely used except in a jocular sense, due to its vulgar connotations. The "shuttle" part of the name was probably derived from its back-and-forth motion during the game, resembling the shuttle of a loom; the "cock" part of the name was probably derived from the resemblance of the feathers to a bird's cock.

14.11.07

Listening: Muyngarnbi - Songs from Walking with Spirits



My friend Jerry put me on to this fairly unusual cd when he came back from one of his many trips to the top end a couple of weeks back - it's a kind of fusion thing featuring "western" instrumentals with Aboriginal singing.

The blurb on the Skinnyfish music website (where you can also listen to one of the tracks) has this to say:

Producers Tom E. Lewis and Michael Hohnen have brought together the songs senior songmen in a ground breaking stylistic development, in which the songmen have relinquished their didjeridu to work with gypsy, rhumba, jazz and rock influences that provide a dynamic contemporary platform for traditional formats.


I'm not sure exactly what the relationship is but it appears to have something to do with the Walking with Spirits arts festival, which is held in June up at the Mulkgulumbu (Beswick) Falls






Looks like a pretty cool event.

As for the music, I have to say that it's some of the most intriguing stuff I've ever heard. The vocals have a kind of alien (yet familiar), primal quality that's a little hypnotic at times. Sometimes it meshes perfectly with the more familiar instrumental sounds, sometimes it completely overwhelms it - and can be hard to take in. There's a wide range of instrumental styles on the album - my knowledge of the vocal styles is a little more scant but these seem to shift from track to track as well.

Definitely a grower - but engaging right from the beginning.

If you're in Canberra, I'll play a fair few tracks on Lost Highway (2XXfm - 98.3) on Thursday night (9.30 to 11pm)

13.11.07

Considering: fake news comedy for the radio show


The routine of doing the radio show has been getting to me a little of late - play a few tracks, read a few community announcements, play the same promo packages week in & out, do the weather , cross to the BBC world news and so on - it's all a little same same to be honest.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about packing it in, I've just been getting a little stale.

So last night I tossed in my own news story at the end of the news break - it didn't come out exactly as well as I'd planned it in my head and so I backtracked almost as soon as I'd finished (according to the PC), basically saying that it hadn't gone as well as I'd meant (which really is something that I need to stop doing - people can make up their own minds as to how good something like that is).

It went something like this:

And turning to local news, Prime Minister John Howard today announced that if re-elected, he will give every little girl in Australia a pony.


Just a little throwaway line for amusement's sake but I'm thinking that this could be a good way to bring a little more fun to the show - maybe one of these or a fake community announcement (always read deadpan) in each talking break.

I had been thinking that I'd like to get a serialised radio play going but that's a much bigger endeavour.

Anyways, if there's anyone out there who fancies their wit, feel free to leave any suggestions for "stories" in here and I'll read it out. (legal stuff allowing, of course)

12.11.07

Considering: learning to type Dvorak



Dvorak is a layout for keyboard keys that was devised in the 1930s by Dr Augustus Dvorak as an alternative to the traditional Qwerty layout. (Look at your keyboard now, see how the top row spells out qwerty)



I came across this really nifty webcomic the other day at dvzine.org that tells the whole story of the Dvorak layout and how the original Qwerty one came about and all the good reasons for making the switch. (Unfortunately, the dvzine site appears to have exceeded their bandwidth allowance for the moment after being mentioned in Boing Boing but I'm sure if you check in a little while it'll be back up)

Anyway, in essence, the Dvorak layout came about as a more efficient way of typing.
(Apparently the top row of the Qwerty layout was designed to have all the letters of the word "typewriter" to make life easier for typewriter salesmen in the 19th century)

These are just a few of the advantages (thanks Wikipedia):

* Letters should be typed by alternating between hands.
* For maximum speed and efficiency, the most common letters and digraphs should be the easiest to type. This means that they should be on the home row, which is where the fingers rest, and under the strongest fingers.
* The least common letters should be on the bottom row, which is the hardest row to reach.
* The right hand should do more of the typing, because most people are right-handed.
* digraphs should not be typed with adjacent fingers.
* Stroking should generally move from the edges of the board to the middle. An observation of this principle is that, for many people, when tapping fingers on a table, it is easier going from little finger to index than vice versa. This motion on a keyboard is called inboard stroke flow.


Evidently as it makes your typing more efficient, you can become faster and cut down on RSI as well. Still, it's a whole new system to learn, so I'm a little undecided right now.

There are settings in Windows, Mac OS and Linux that allow you to change the keyboard layout (which, come to think of it would just be a good prank generally - if you were of such a mischievous nature) but you'd still want to do something about the physical letters on the keyboard if you aren't a super touch-typist.

Maybe I'll see how easy it is to swap the keys around and what kind of online tutorials are available.