Writing: gags for radio

Well I said I was considering it last week and I actually pulled out the pen and had a go at writing some fake (and hopefully funny) news stories last night while I was doing the show. (Monday Sunset on 2XX, 98.3fm Canberra 4-6pm)

I'd been toying with one of the ideas during the week but the rest was pretty well made up on the spot in response to news stories on the Yahoo7 website (the only local news source that isn't blocked on the studio computer.)

Unlike last week, delivery came out fairly well, very straight down the line and hopefully a few people got a giggle or two.

I wasn't organised enough to arrange a recording but maybe next time. The stories were generally prefaced with - "turning now to Monday Sunset news"

Workplace Relations minister Joe Hockey today announced that 70% of all trade union officials are in fact evil killer robots sent back in time from the future to harvest our organs. When asked if this was just a desperate attempt to scare voters, he replied "You're one of them,aren't you - everybody run"

(In the initial, read-out version, the robots planned to "steal our kittens" but I think this reads better. I also toyed with "kill Bindi Irwin" in there as well but I thought it would need someone cuter and more universally loved.)

Greens Senator Bob Brown last night announced on Rove Live that he would turn straight for Missy Higgins. Missy Higgins announced that she was gay and she likes Bob "as a friend"

A report from the Department of Prime Miniature and Cabinet today confirmed that the government spent nearly $200 million dollars on advertising in the last financial year. Opposition spokeswoman for public administration and accountability, Penny Wong, said that the government would have benefited more from buying 200 million gags for Tony Abbott and Alexander Downer.

Labor I.T spokesman Stephen Conroy today announced that a Rudd government will censor the internet to fight cyberbullying using a sophisticated filtering system. Terms that will be automatically blocked include beep, beep, beep and earwax.

The Liberal Party has been asked to "please explain" why they are giving preferences to One Nation in a number of NSW seats in spite of a 2001 pledge to put that party last. Fresh from a weekend bonding with the Korean and Chinese communities of Bennelong, John Howard said - I'm not a racist, but...

Joe Hockey quickly interjected, asking journalists if they were aware that 70% of trade union officials are actually killer robots sent back in time from the future...

Two of the finalists of Australian Idol have backed away from claims
that the song they will release as Idol winner is... no, wait, my apologies, that's not news, that's trivia.

(Actually, in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I just unconsciously borrowed that from Newstopia)