This is a few years old but it is still pretty clever.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's
winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12 Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.3.09
2.3.09
All music videos should be this literal - White Wedding/Take On Me/Under the bridge
These guys (Dust films) have made a few videos like this now - big effort but hugely amusing.
White Wedding: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos
Take on Me: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos
Under The Bridge: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos
26.2.09
John Turturro talks about playing Jesus in The Big Lebowski
This guy is one of my favourite actors of all time - this clip put him up into the most awesome list as well
Labels:
john turturro,
the big lebowski
That's some nice subtitling there
There have been hundreds of Downfall videos now but I love the way this one sticks it to the grammar nazis
From the same guy, finally a translation of R2D2s blips and bleeps.
From the same guy, finally a translation of R2D2s blips and bleeps.
13.2.09
Christian Bale versus the kid from the dentist
Bless you internet - this is really nicely done
Labels:
christian bale,
dentist,
kid,
youtube
10.2.09
Sony releases some new useless crap
This is a pretty cool (and expletive filled) clip from The Onion - which is funny if you've ever argued with a piece of technology over whether it should be working or not
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Labels:
humour,
sony,
technology,
the onion
5.2.09
I gots myself published
I had a little rave here the other day about the practice of poopsocking, which I also submitted to the Screenplay blog in The Age newspaper in Melbourne as a column.
Days and days passed and I figured that it was too low-brow for such an esteemed organ but I checked the blog today and lo and behold, there it was.
Hurrah.
Days and days passed and I figured that it was too low-brow for such an esteemed organ but I checked the blog today and lo and behold, there it was.
Hurrah.
Labels:
poopsocking
4.2.09
Christian Bale - the tyrade remix
So the perpetually ADD Internet is all in a tizz about Christian (Batman, John Connor, Patrick Bateman) Bale cracking it with a DOP on the set of the new Terminator movie. (Note to self, if you are going to arc up at someone, probably best not to do it around a tonne of sound equipment)
Now I have read commentary that is pretty critical of said tanty throwing star but I'm not without sympathy.
Imagine that you are trying to get into character in a movie set in a world where killer robots are constantly trying to, well, kill you and they have wiped out virtually all of humanity. Add to this the fact that you can see that these robots actually look, you know, kind of crappy (yet to be digitally awesomed up) and some guy who should know better is wandering about where he shouldn't be, putting you off your game.
The fact is that while he does rant on a little while (and amusingly his accent drops back to its original Welsh), he just seems genuinely pissed off that he's not getting his work done. It's not like he's cracking the sads about being given the wrong colour M&Msafter all.
There's also something very Homer Simpsonesque about the over the top sarcastic voice that he puts on during parts of the rant, right down to the la-di-da-di-da part. Who can really hate someone who sounds like Homer?
Or maybe I have a little too much tension brewing up inside and I'm just a little envious that I never really get to full on vent at anyone when they piss me off .
Anyways, as is the Internetz way, a remix has appeared of the rant, which is kind of cool.
Now I have read commentary that is pretty critical of said tanty throwing star but I'm not without sympathy.
Imagine that you are trying to get into character in a movie set in a world where killer robots are constantly trying to, well, kill you and they have wiped out virtually all of humanity. Add to this the fact that you can see that these robots actually look, you know, kind of crappy (yet to be digitally awesomed up) and some guy who should know better is wandering about where he shouldn't be, putting you off your game.
The fact is that while he does rant on a little while (and amusingly his accent drops back to its original Welsh), he just seems genuinely pissed off that he's not getting his work done. It's not like he's cracking the sads about being given the wrong colour M&Msafter all.
There's also something very Homer Simpsonesque about the over the top sarcastic voice that he puts on during parts of the rant, right down to the la-di-da-di-da part. Who can really hate someone who sounds like Homer?
Or maybe I have a little too much tension brewing up inside and I'm just a little envious that I never really get to full on vent at anyone when they piss me off .
Anyways, as is the Internetz way, a remix has appeared of the rant, which is kind of cool.
Labels:
angry pills,
christian bale
2.2.09
Wrapping up Monday Sunset
Well it's been a few years now that I've been sharing my taste in tunes with the 2XXfm Canberra listening public (yep, both of them) on a Monday afternoon but just like the Bush presidency, all things must come to an end.
Time pressures from work and my growing need to get things done, as well as a growing feeling of meh to the whole superstar DJ thing, mean that I'm packing up the cds and giving it a rest for a while.
There have been three things that I've hoped to do with my time on the radio - play great tracks (old and new), show people that there are nuggets of goodness in all types of music (beyond the ongoing banality of 99% of top 40 tunage) and hopefully turn people on to new artists (and old ones that they've never heard of).
This was one of the great things about growing up in Melbourne, the alternative/community radio scene. RRR and PBS particularly exposed me to a whole new world of sound and I hope that in some small way I've been able to do the same for someone else.
The tracks today are a selection of some favourites I've played over the years and cover some of my strange obsessions - covers, mashups, passion, humour, nerdiness, rawk as well as a focus on ensuring that female artists are reasonably well represented.
If you've been listening, thanks - I hope you've enjoyed it.
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
It's Fun To Smoke Dust (Queen vs. Pastor Gary Greenwald vs. Midfield General) Lobsterdust Best of Bootie 2008 4:18
Believe In Sexual Eruption (Snoop Dogg vs. Cher) A Plus D Best of Bootie 2008 4:42
The Night I Couldn't Stop Crying The Devastations Coal 4:59
Down With Prince Hot Chip Coming On Strong 3:18
Iron Man The Cardigans Covers 4:19
Hello, I Love You The Cure Covers 3:28
Common People William Shatner Covers 4:41
Better Go Home Now Dirty Three Dirty Three 3:43
Wired For Sound B(if)tek 2020 3:52
The Minotaur The Drones Havilah 3:26
Quick Way To Hell The Fuelers Hot Dang 3:43
Highway 61 Revisited Karen O & The Million Dollar Bashers I'm Not There [Disc 1] 3:59
Still Alive Portal The Orange Box 2:56
Talking Lion Blues C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 4:34
New Day Of The Dead Beasts Of Bourbon Little Animals 5:18
Sandman Tex Perkins And His Ladyboyz No 1's and No 2's 3:55
Butterfly Baterz Out of Hell 3:46
Revolution Get Down The BellRays The Red White & Black 2:41
Ford Mustang Mick Harvey Intoxicated Man 2:18
Etwas Neues The Bites White lines and runways 2:55
7 Sisters Wild Pumpkins At Midnight The Secret Of The Sad Tree 3:04
Popcorn Hot Butter Single 2:33
Needles & Pins Ramones Anthology 2:24
Fell In Love With A Girl The White Stripes White Blood Cells 1:50
Time pressures from work and my growing need to get things done, as well as a growing feeling of meh to the whole superstar DJ thing, mean that I'm packing up the cds and giving it a rest for a while.
There have been three things that I've hoped to do with my time on the radio - play great tracks (old and new), show people that there are nuggets of goodness in all types of music (beyond the ongoing banality of 99% of top 40 tunage) and hopefully turn people on to new artists (and old ones that they've never heard of).
This was one of the great things about growing up in Melbourne, the alternative/community radio scene. RRR and PBS particularly exposed me to a whole new world of sound and I hope that in some small way I've been able to do the same for someone else.
The tracks today are a selection of some favourites I've played over the years and cover some of my strange obsessions - covers, mashups, passion, humour, nerdiness, rawk as well as a focus on ensuring that female artists are reasonably well represented.
If you've been listening, thanks - I hope you've enjoyed it.
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
It's Fun To Smoke Dust (Queen vs. Pastor Gary Greenwald vs. Midfield General) Lobsterdust Best of Bootie 2008 4:18
Believe In Sexual Eruption (Snoop Dogg vs. Cher) A Plus D Best of Bootie 2008 4:42
The Night I Couldn't Stop Crying The Devastations Coal 4:59
Down With Prince Hot Chip Coming On Strong 3:18
Iron Man The Cardigans Covers 4:19
Hello, I Love You The Cure Covers 3:28
Common People William Shatner Covers 4:41
Better Go Home Now Dirty Three Dirty Three 3:43
Wired For Sound B(if)tek 2020 3:52
The Minotaur The Drones Havilah 3:26
Quick Way To Hell The Fuelers Hot Dang 3:43
Highway 61 Revisited Karen O & The Million Dollar Bashers I'm Not There [Disc 1] 3:59
Still Alive Portal The Orange Box 2:56
Talking Lion Blues C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 4:34
New Day Of The Dead Beasts Of Bourbon Little Animals 5:18
Sandman Tex Perkins And His Ladyboyz No 1's and No 2's 3:55
Butterfly Baterz Out of Hell 3:46
Revolution Get Down The BellRays The Red White & Black 2:41
Ford Mustang Mick Harvey Intoxicated Man 2:18
Etwas Neues The Bites White lines and runways 2:55
7 Sisters Wild Pumpkins At Midnight The Secret Of The Sad Tree 3:04
Popcorn Hot Butter Single 2:33
Needles & Pins Ramones Anthology 2:24
Fell In Love With A Girl The White Stripes White Blood Cells 1:50
Labels:
2xxfm,
beaches,
best of bootie 2008,
mashups,
music,
radio,
william shatner
Location:
City ACT, Australia
25.1.09
Learning about Poopsocking
I've been to LAN parties, I've seen (and smelt) things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. The tangy aroma of the sweat of 150 man-boys scoffing burger rings in a poorly ventilated room, warmed by the fires of uninterruptible power supplies.
In spite of this however, I never really thought that I would come across a piece of information that would dramatically shift my generally favourable view of gamers until I discovered the existence of a single word - poopsocking.
According to Urbandictionary.com, poopsocking is:
Defacating into a sock in order to avoid having to get up from your computer to use the toilet. Often utilized when playing online role playing games.John was poopsocking all the way to level 60 this weekend.
I happened across this term in an article about gamers on techradar linking game playing to poor (off-line) relationships and higher levels of drug use. It just popped up in a subheading (Pot smoking and poop socking) and wasn't actually referred to but it was an odd enough term to merit further investigation.
After I finished laughing and wiped the tears from my eyes, I realised that for a term to have been coined for it, people must actually do this - and not just a few but enough that it isn't necessarily considered entirely freaky.
I remember a few years ago, back when Crown Casino in Melbourne opened and stories leaked out (sorry) about gamblers pissing under the poker/blackjack etc tables. Not surprisingly, being a bit of a hater of the casino at the time, I found this kind of hilarious. Sad and desparate but hilarious. Pissing under the table - gross as it is, pales in sadness to poop socking though because at least with the casino, these poor tragic gambling buggers are doing something that immediately affects their livelihood, rather than their e-peen.
I thought this was the end of my morning's depravity lesson but the Internet had other plans.
I figured that a picture of a brown sock would be a nice illustration for this post, so I googled Brown Sock.
Guess what the top entry was - again, a listing from urbandictionary.com.
1. brown sock
This is an especially cruel prank to play on somebody. Though there are few documented instances of somebody performing a brown sock attack, it has happened. Party A defecates into a large sock, preferably a tube sock. After the sock is weighted down with the fecies inside, Party A ties a knot near the secrtion of the sock that is occupied by the fecies. At this point, Party A proceeds to spin the sock around (holding it by the clean side of course) and smacks Party B (who is most likely drunk and/or passed out) across the face.
Though this assault is rarely painful, the ego of Party B will be severely bruised by this most unsanitary of pranks.
Yeah so Bob was being a dick the other day so I decided to give him a brown sock. When he wasn't looking I loaded up one of his tube socks and cracked him across the face with it. Oh the hilarity that ensued.
2. Brown Sock
An action taken to increase body heat in which Party A inserts their entire foot into the anus of Party B up to the ankle.
It was a cold night in Denver, so I brown socked Jill.
WTF is wrong with you people?
Labels:
brown sock,
faeces,
gamers,
poo,
poopsock
21.1.09
Obama's inauguration speech
My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans. That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land--a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today, I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America--they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit, to choose our better history, to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted--for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things--some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions--that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act--not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions--who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them--that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works--whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account--to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day--because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control--and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart--not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good. As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort--even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus--and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West--know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment--a moment that will define a generation--it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends--honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism--these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility--a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence--the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed--why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to [the] future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive ... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet" it.
America: In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans. That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land--a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today, I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America--they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit, to choose our better history, to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted--for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things--some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions--that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act--not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions--who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them--that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works--whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account--to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day--because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control--and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart--not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good. As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort--even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus--and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West--know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment--a moment that will define a generation--it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends--honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism--these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility--a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence--the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed--why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to [the] future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive ... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet" it.
America: In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.
Labels:
barack obama
19.1.09
Making a weird return to Monday Sunset
This is a pretty eclectic mix, even by my standards. Obviously it's all gold, but it'll be interesting to hear how these babies play next to each other.
Cherry Chapstick Yo La Tengo And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out 6:12
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
Take You Home The Devastations Coal 3:54
The Beach Party Hot Chip Coming On Strong 4:02
Television Addict The Hellacopters Covers 3:01
Ring Of Fire Wall Of Voodoo Covers 3:47
Target's Air Conditioner Baterz Out of Hell 3:48
Red Beans & Rice Spearhead Home 4:29
Da Funk Daft Punk Homework 5:30
Quick Way To Hell The Fuelers Hot Dang 3:43
Talking Lion Blues C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 4:34
New Day Of The Dead Beasts Of Bourbon Little Animals 5:18
Honeybear Yeah Yeah Yeahs Show Your Bones (Advance) 2:26
Fitzroy Strongman Sodastream Looks Like A Russian 4:11
Tell The Girls The Sleepy Jackson Lovers 4:14
Loser Beck Mellow Gold 3:56
Into Temptation Jimmy Little Messenger 4:49
How Do I Let A Good Man Down? Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings Naturally 3:03
Buckingham Green Ween The Mollusk 3:18
Sweet 16 Tex Perkins And His Ladyboyz No 1's and No 2's 3:13
Revolution Get Down The BellRays The Red White & Black 2:41
Movin' On Up Primal Scream Screamadelica 3:51
How Does It Feel The Zutons Tired of Hangin' Around 3:49
Bohemian Like You The Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia 3:32
I Think I Smell A Rat The White Stripes White Blood Cells 2:04
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
Etwas Neues The Bites White lines and runways 2:55
Cherry Chapstick Yo La Tengo And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out 6:12
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
Take You Home The Devastations Coal 3:54
The Beach Party Hot Chip Coming On Strong 4:02
Television Addict The Hellacopters Covers 3:01
Ring Of Fire Wall Of Voodoo Covers 3:47
Target's Air Conditioner Baterz Out of Hell 3:48
Red Beans & Rice Spearhead Home 4:29
Da Funk Daft Punk Homework 5:30
Quick Way To Hell The Fuelers Hot Dang 3:43
Talking Lion Blues C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 4:34
New Day Of The Dead Beasts Of Bourbon Little Animals 5:18
Honeybear Yeah Yeah Yeahs Show Your Bones (Advance) 2:26
Fitzroy Strongman Sodastream Looks Like A Russian 4:11
Tell The Girls The Sleepy Jackson Lovers 4:14
Loser Beck Mellow Gold 3:56
Into Temptation Jimmy Little Messenger 4:49
How Do I Let A Good Man Down? Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings Naturally 3:03
Buckingham Green Ween The Mollusk 3:18
Sweet 16 Tex Perkins And His Ladyboyz No 1's and No 2's 3:13
Revolution Get Down The BellRays The Red White & Black 2:41
Movin' On Up Primal Scream Screamadelica 3:51
How Does It Feel The Zutons Tired of Hangin' Around 3:49
Bohemian Like You The Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia 3:32
I Think I Smell A Rat The White Stripes White Blood Cells 2:04
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
Etwas Neues The Bites White lines and runways 2:55
Labels:
2XX,
c w stoneking,
Devastations,
music,
radio,
sharon jones,
yeah yeah yeahs
15.1.09
Lovin' The Onion - Child bankrupts make-a-wish foundation with wish for unlimited wishes
These guys are freaking brilliant.
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes
Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes
Labels:
make-a-wish,
the onion
14.1.09
Black Dynamite or Black Dynashite?
The Blaxploitation era of American cinema provided a lot of great entertainment in the 70s and deserves the respect it is given, not least for the awesome soundtracks that came out of it. (Shaft and Superfly to name but two)
Black Dynamite positions itself as a tribute to these films and (judging by the trailer at least) seems to have captured the colour and style of these films pretty well. I just hope that they don't overplay the "look at how retro we can be" gag.
Labels:
black dynamite,
blaxploitation
13.1.09
As if there weren't enough reasons already to hate TV Week
I can put up with the calvacade of mediocrity that gets launched into the Australian fame stratosphere by mouth-breathing teen mums with mobile phones and a copy of the Logies voting form but as I sit here today, TV Week has gone too far.
Waiting in line on a hot summer afternoon in the local supermarket to buy an over-priced pack of Frosty Fruits, what smacks me squarely in the peepers but this front page spoiler to the 2008 season finale cliff-hanger white water rafting accident?

Neighbours SHOCKS - Zeke Killed!
(Credit for leaving out the extra exclamation marks and the ZOMG!!! in fairness)
Well it's hardly a frakking shock now is it - it's on the front bloody page.
Sure, it's not the headline story but being the unashamed Neighbours afficionado that I am, this was pretty much the only thing I saw as I idly cast my eyes over the mag stand.
I'm the first to admit that the 08 cliffhanger, while maintaining the proud tradition of particularly low-rent stunt work that this show should be better known for, was lame even by Neighbours standards. And Zeke is perhaps the most irritatingly whiny, emo, season-7 Buffy-esque (without the awesome skillz) sookbag character but still, Jumpsuit and her equally bad-haired unborn baby was on one of those rafts and now I know that she's safe too.
Booooo TV Week.
Waiting in line on a hot summer afternoon in the local supermarket to buy an over-priced pack of Frosty Fruits, what smacks me squarely in the peepers but this front page spoiler to the 2008 season finale cliff-hanger white water rafting accident?

Neighbours SHOCKS - Zeke Killed!
(Credit for leaving out the extra exclamation marks and the ZOMG!!! in fairness)
Well it's hardly a frakking shock now is it - it's on the front bloody page.
Sure, it's not the headline story but being the unashamed Neighbours afficionado that I am, this was pretty much the only thing I saw as I idly cast my eyes over the mag stand.
I'm the first to admit that the 08 cliffhanger, while maintaining the proud tradition of particularly low-rent stunt work that this show should be better known for, was lame even by Neighbours standards. And Zeke is perhaps the most irritatingly whiny, emo, season-7 Buffy-esque (without the awesome skillz) sookbag character but still, Jumpsuit and her equally bad-haired unborn baby was on one of those rafts and now I know that she's safe too.
Booooo TV Week.
Labels:
Neighbours,
tv week
6.1.09
22.12.08
Musical treats for monday
Faust 72 Dynastie Crisis Ocean's Twelve 3:23
I'm Your Man Nick Cave Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man 4:31
Jet Black River Frank Black & The Catholics Black Letter Days 1:51
Ziggy Stardust David Bowie Best Of David Bowie 69-74 3:17
That Was My Veil PJ Harvey The Peel Sessions (1991-2004) 3:07
Rendez-Vu Basement Jaxx Big Day Out 00 (Disc 1) 5:47
North by north The Bats Topless women talk about their lives 4:06
Black Sabotage (Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin) DJ Moule Best of Bootie 2006 2:33
Girls On Film Midnight Oil Covers 3:27
Orange Crush Editors Q: Best Of 86/06 4:13
Defecate On My Face (Live) TISM Machines Against The Rage 4:52
Sorry Sid'n'Susie (Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs) Under The Covers 2:37
Heavenly Bodies Lush Lovelife 2:59
Holiday In Spain Machine Translations Holiday In Spain 3:24
The day we lost Fitzroy The Bites White lines and runways 3:06
Sweet Dreams are Made of Seven Nation Army DJ Poly Best of Bootie 2007 3:51
Sugarman Sixto Rodriguez Come Get It I Got It 2:24
One Brother Andrew W. K. Close Calls With Brick Walls 2:25
Mexican Radio Wall of Voodoo Rage - More Of The Songs Most Chosen By Rage Guest Programmers (Disc 2) 3:57
S.L.H. (Sri Lanka High) (M.I.A. vs. The Ramones) Jay-R Best of Bootie 2005 4:28
The Passenger Siouxsie & The Banshees Covers 4:09
Wonderwall Ryan Adams Covers 4:09
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow The Soggy Bottom Boys O Brother, Where Art Thou? 4:17
This Is Not The Way Home The Cruel Sea This Is Not The Way Home 4:07
Get It Together The Go! Team Thunder, Lightning, Strike 3:25
Disco Chicken Justin Heazlewood The Bedroom Philosopher - Living On The Edge Of My Bed 2:04
Fifteen Baterz Out of Hell 2:05
I'm Your Man Nick Cave Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man 4:31
Jet Black River Frank Black & The Catholics Black Letter Days 1:51
Ziggy Stardust David Bowie Best Of David Bowie 69-74 3:17
That Was My Veil PJ Harvey The Peel Sessions (1991-2004) 3:07
Rendez-Vu Basement Jaxx Big Day Out 00 (Disc 1) 5:47
North by north The Bats Topless women talk about their lives 4:06
Black Sabotage (Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin) DJ Moule Best of Bootie 2006 2:33
Girls On Film Midnight Oil Covers 3:27
Orange Crush Editors Q: Best Of 86/06 4:13
Defecate On My Face (Live) TISM Machines Against The Rage 4:52
Sorry Sid'n'Susie (Matthew Sweet and Susanna Hoffs) Under The Covers 2:37
Heavenly Bodies Lush Lovelife 2:59
Holiday In Spain Machine Translations Holiday In Spain 3:24
The day we lost Fitzroy The Bites White lines and runways 3:06
Sweet Dreams are Made of Seven Nation Army DJ Poly Best of Bootie 2007 3:51
Sugarman Sixto Rodriguez Come Get It I Got It 2:24
One Brother Andrew W. K. Close Calls With Brick Walls 2:25
Mexican Radio Wall of Voodoo Rage - More Of The Songs Most Chosen By Rage Guest Programmers (Disc 2) 3:57
S.L.H. (Sri Lanka High) (M.I.A. vs. The Ramones) Jay-R Best of Bootie 2005 4:28
The Passenger Siouxsie & The Banshees Covers 4:09
Wonderwall Ryan Adams Covers 4:09
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow The Soggy Bottom Boys O Brother, Where Art Thou? 4:17
This Is Not The Way Home The Cruel Sea This Is Not The Way Home 4:07
Get It Together The Go! Team Thunder, Lightning, Strike 3:25
Disco Chicken Justin Heazlewood The Bedroom Philosopher - Living On The Edge Of My Bed 2:04
Fifteen Baterz Out of Hell 2:05
Labels:
rodriguez,
wonderwall
15.12.08
songs
Frolic Mylo Curb Your Enthusiasm 3:30
The Stranger Alessandro Alessandroni Curb Your Enthusiasm 2:22
Early In The Morning C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 3:36
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
Dark Eyes Iron & Wine With Calexico I'm Not There [Disc 1] 4:31
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
Bigmouth Strikes Again Placebo Covers 3:50
(Dont Fear) The Reaper The Mutton Birds Covers 5:47
Our Sunshine Ground Components An Eye For A Brow. A Tooth For A Pick. 4:39
Cannonball The Breeders Last Splash 3:34
Brazil Xavier Cugat & His Orchestra Ritmo Cubano: Gold Collection (Disc 2) 2:30
Speedy Marie Frank Black Teenager Of The Year 3:34
Pretty Reno Thinking about the good times 3:16
Horse Pills The Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia 3:25
Ocean Of You The Blackeyed Susans Welcome Stranger 3:34
Havana Gang Brawl The Zutons Who Killed The... 4:30
Zoo Music Girl The Birthday Party Prayers On Fire 2:38
Summer 78 (With Claire Pichet) Yann Tiersen Good Bye Lenin! 3:55
Piazza, New York Catcher Belle & Sebastian Dear Catastrophe Waitress 3:04
Most Likely You Go Your Way And I'll Go Mine Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde 3:24
The Stranger Alessandro Alessandroni Curb Your Enthusiasm 2:22
Early In The Morning C.W. Stoneking Jungle Blues 3:36
Wannabe In L.A. Eagles Of Death Metal Heart On 2:16
Dark Eyes Iron & Wine With Calexico I'm Not There [Disc 1] 4:31
Free Way Beaches Beaches 4:09
Bigmouth Strikes Again Placebo Covers 3:50
(Dont Fear) The Reaper The Mutton Birds Covers 5:47
Our Sunshine Ground Components An Eye For A Brow. A Tooth For A Pick. 4:39
Cannonball The Breeders Last Splash 3:34
Brazil Xavier Cugat & His Orchestra Ritmo Cubano: Gold Collection (Disc 2) 2:30
Speedy Marie Frank Black Teenager Of The Year 3:34
Pretty Reno Thinking about the good times 3:16
Horse Pills The Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia 3:25
Ocean Of You The Blackeyed Susans Welcome Stranger 3:34
Havana Gang Brawl The Zutons Who Killed The... 4:30
Zoo Music Girl The Birthday Party Prayers On Fire 2:38
Summer 78 (With Claire Pichet) Yann Tiersen Good Bye Lenin! 3:55
Piazza, New York Catcher Belle & Sebastian Dear Catastrophe Waitress 3:04
Most Likely You Go Your Way And I'll Go Mine Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde 3:24
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)