Breathing: a sigh of relief for Tanzanian Albinos

Every now and then you see a news story that you've never seen before. Like this one on the ABC news website.

Tanzania shields albinos from witchdoctors

Posted 3 hours 8 minutes ago

The President of Tanzania has announced measures designed to protect albinos from witchdoctors.

President Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete says police have been ordered to hunt down the witchdoctors involved in 19 murders over the past year.

Officials say the witchdoctors have been murdering albinos to use their body parts in magic potions designed to bring people good luck.

It is estimated there are about 150,000 albinos living in Tanzania.

Pondering: the behaviourist alternative to nagging

I've had a couple of lively discussions with female friends about this since I read it - both interesting and revealing. (Ok, in the interests of full disclosure, with an ex girlfriend and the PC, my current one)

In short, Amy Sutherland has written a book (now being made into a movie with Naomi Watts - I kid you not) about her experiences in transferring the skills she learnt from animal trainers to her relationship. She noticed that nagging her partner to do things around the house generally didn't seem to be working and decided to try a new approach.

When animals are being trained and they do something right, they are offered positive feedback and when they do something wrong, their behaviour is ignored. Amy applied this principle to her husbands habit of leaving dirty clothes on the floor.

He is also an avid biker, and tends to leave a heap of stinky exercise gear on the bathroom floor. When she nagged him about the habit, he would suffer from the convenient affliction known as “spousal deafness.” She decided to take a cue from the dolphin trainers. She became more patient. He did get around to picking it up, and when he did, she thanked him.

She applied the technique to other aspects of their shared life. Instead of bugging him to shave more often, she silenced herself. When he drove too fast, she made sure her seatbelt was fastened and her lips buttoned. When he did shave, she made a point of complimenting him. When he drove slower, she expressed gratitude. “He basked in my growing appreciation” she writes. Like most animals, he tends to repeat the behaviours that prompt praise.

“It's refreshing to think simply, to boil things down to just behaviour instead of always big psychological things,” the 49-year-old says.

My ex did raise some interesting points about this, chiefly that this suggests that:

women lower your expectations
and suppress your true feelings
gee, what a great message

I have an uneasy feeling about relationships being treated as training exercises - just as I have a slight bristling when I'm doing something around the house and a woman visitor says "Gee you're well trained".

However, I recognise that things need to be done to keep a home tidy and when the man and woman have different standards of cleanliness there are bound to be tensions that arise and on both sides, if you want something done, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Interestingly, I've noticed the PC using this approach more recently and I've been pretty happy about that as I have this contrarian streak in me that really doesn't respond well to nagging. Mother issues probably :)

She told me that she's been trying it and I told her that I knew and that I appreciated it - providing a little positive reinforcement of my own I guess.

A bit like the cartoon at the top?

Enjoying: RUN DMZ

I've long felt that dance offs would be a much better way for the nations of the world to solve their differences. (Or possibly Zoolander style walk-offs)

LOLing: The Onion on Robot power

While it may look like I'm painting myself as some kind of freaky Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski with my ongoing rants against the evils of robots, I just have to share this video from crew at The Onion which is nicely done.

Admiring: sweded Tron light-cycle race

Tron
by freres-hueon

Admiring: sweded Tron light-cycle race

Tron
by freres-hueon

LOLing: the sweded BigDog robot video

The other week I shared my concerns about the inevitable robot uprising, evidenced by the latest high tech demonstration of the BigDog Quadruped robot, which can carry around 160kg and is very nimble.

Something I forgot about though is humanity's untiring ability to mock our oppressors - fortunately this "sweded" version of the BigDog video has restored my faith.



"Sweding" a video is a term taken from Be Kind, Rewind - the latest Michel (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) Gondry film and refers to the practice of making an ultra-low budget version of popular films/tv shows.

(Funnily enough, this seems to reflect every video I made in the last 15+ years - a selection of which can be found on YouTube under the tag Brown_Couch)

Giggling: the wombat rape emergency call

This story from New Zealand about a kiwi prank caller kind of speaks for itself - I like the part about the fact that alcohol hadn't played a part that day. Uh, sure.

A Motueka man who claimed to have been left speaking Australian after being raped by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours' community work for his trouble.

Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message, 'I've been raped by a wombat'.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night.

When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.

On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.

He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.

"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out,'' Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all,'' Cradock then told the operator.

Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock's life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a problem that day.

Judge Richard Russell said he was not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police.

In sentencing, he warned Cradock not to do it again.

stuff.co.nz

Writing: a job application

The funny thing about working at a job that you really enjoy is that after a while, you don't really see the things that you do as big major tasks - it's just the stuff that you do.

My job, as an educational media designer (or whatever title I think fits this week :) generally involves a bunch of little things - usually running around helping teachers with using technology in their teaching in some way - and occasionally work on larger scale projects. (Though mainly the former)

Which is making the process I'm going through now a little tricky. (Well that and my natural modesty :)

In the process of applying for the next level up in my job (which is essentially what I do now as far as I can see), I have to respond to a bunch of selection criteria.
This pretty well means that I need to provide concrete, interesting examples of big things that I've done - however most of what I feel achieves the most tends to come in the little 10 minute tasks that are rarely worth mentioning but which take a teacher from one level of skill to another. (At least, these are the ones that I enjoy the most)

Here are some of the things I need to justify:
(and some of the smart-arsed answers that always seem to be the first thing to come to mind when asked official sounding questions)

Proven ability to lead and develop educational projects relevant to the priorities and objectives of the Institute.

Proven ability to communicate professional skills to colleagues, clients and key stakeholders.


Proven ability to represent the Institute in a professional capacity.

I have consistently resisted all urges to strip down and dance nude on the table at power meetings for the last five years

Proven team leading and project management experience within an education design, media, web development or related educational technology, or information and communications technology, environment.

Regularly pwn n00bs and lead successful group attacks in 2Fort and Dustbowl levels of Team Fortress 2 on Xbox Live.

Looking forward: to GTA IV multiplayer

Of all video games (except possibly Portal), I'd say that the Grand Theft Auto series is my favourite. It allows you to live the life of a criminal in a big city that you can freely explore and interact with and undertake missions if you want to follow the story. The games have a keen eye for pop culture and cutting wit when it comes to poking fun at society.

Grand Theft Auto IV is due for release on the 29th of April (sadly right in the middle of my 6 week holiday) and is set in the present in a version of New York City called Liberty City.



Recent news indicates that for the first time (officially) there will also be multiplayer options available in the game, allowing you to play cops'n'robbers with up to 15 other people online, making full use of the city environment, the various vehicles and weapons and whatever else they choose to throw in.

This is the list of multiplayer game modes that are believed to be coming:


1. Hangman's NOOSE
2. Car Jack City
3. Bomb da Base
4. Bomb da Base II
5. Mafia Work
6. Team Mafia Work
7. Deathmatch
8. Team Deathmatch
9. Turf War
10. Cops n Crooks
11. Race
12. GTA Race
13. Deal Breaker
14. Free Mode
15. (some other mode?)

# In Race and GTA Race, the host gets to decide which vehicles are involved, and the number of laps to be played. You can shoot and throw molotovs from the window, and even steal your rivals' car.
# In Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch, the host gets to decide whether the police can intervene or not. The host also gets to decide the number of pedestrians, the amount of traffic, and the type of weapons.
# In Cops n Crooks, one team play as cops and the other play as criminals. The cops must stop the criminals from escaping. They can monitor the locations of the criminals on their GPS systems, while the criminals have no idea where the cops are.
# In Mafia Work and Team Mafia Work, you play as one of Kenny Petrovic's mafia henchmen. You must complete hits ordered by the boss (via the cellphone) before your rivals are able to do so.
# A single-player mission called "Hangman's NOOSE" features co-op. You and your friends will be able to escort a mobster, while being pursused by a SWAT team.
# The map used in multiplayer is the same map that is used for single player.

Can't wait.

There's also a stack of nifty media treats over on the official GTA IV website - including this recruitment video for the Liberty City police

LOLing: (mostly) - Melbourne Comedy Festival gags

The Age published a list of fifty great one-liners from the various shows around the Melbourne Comedy Festival over the weekend - there's some nice work in there (but also a bit of recycling and some general duds)

Gold:

I used to think I was smarter than everybody. Then I put aftershave on my balls...for the second time. Adam Vincent, Humans Anonymous

"The Herald-Sun’s Andrew Bolt" is a complete anagram of the words "bland lout answers the herd".
Luke Whitby, Was it a Cat I Saw?


Now that John Howard is gone, I just don’t know what not to believe any more.
Courteney Hocking, Mixing Pop and Politics

Meh:

My granddad was responsible for shooting down two German planes. Unfortunately, he did it in 1971. But he said you could never be too careful.
John Moloney, Only Moloney

What’s the best thing about being a gargoyle? You’re always high.
Edan Lacey and Nick O’Donnell, Eine Kleine Story Time

Loving: Boing Boing SPAM theatre

I've had similar ideas about using the random language in spam as a source of found inspiration for poetry - probably at a poetry slam kind of thing - one day, maybe. (There's a good one at The Front Cafe that I've been to a few times that seems ideal - just a matter of finding the time to put something good together - and muster up the public performance courage.)

Welcoming: our new robot overlords

I've mentioned my concerns about the advancement of robot technology and the inevitable enslavement of humanity by mechanical men (or women) before and this video does nothing to ease my concerns.

BigDog by Boston Dynamics can carry up to 154kg (340lb) and has the most amazing balance adjustment skills I've ever seen.

Geeking: it up with the ROFLMAO song

This is geeky on so many levels I don't know where to begin. It's a World of Warcraft based machinima version of the Muppets Manamana song using leetspeak.



(Thanks Len)

Forgetting: to post

Oops, completely slipped my mind today.

Back tomorrow

LOLing: Starts Wars

No idea who did this originally but I found it here

Watching: Inland Empire

I've been a fan of David Lynch ever since I stumbled across a late night screening of The Elephant Man back in the mid 80s and I've followed his career with fascination ever since.

After starting out with the magnificently trippy and disturbing Eraserhead in the mid-70s, Lynch made a series of films with relatively conventional story structures - all peopled by freaks, oddballs and outsiders but nonetheless all fairly recognisable as stories and easy to follow. (Dune, Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me).

As he's progressed though, he's returned more to his experimental roots and the stories have gradually become more obtuse and confusing - playing with ideas of time, space and identity and shifting the entire reality of the story as it goes (Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive notably). This worked for me when I realised that it didn't have to be about a direct linear story but could just as well be more like a dream, with a series of sensations and disconnected but always amazing looking and sounding experiences.

It's part freak show, part oil painting and part sound installation for me.

Inland Empire, his most recent film, takes this further than he ever has before. It's nominally the story of a woman with a lead role in a remake of a cursed, unfinished film based on an old Polish legend but it's really much more like the mindblowing weird dream that you'd have after overindulging on some kind of curry pizza.

Characters, locations, everything essentially changes from moment to moment - events recur, reality shifts from something happening to it being a scene in the movie, to being a particularly freaking looking single room set sitcom featuring people in rabbit costumes - it truly is impossible to describe. Suffice to say, it has to be watched as an art video rather than anything else.

Unfortunately, clocking in at around 3 hours, you simply can't be sitting on uncomfortable seats to watch this (as I was) - I remember thinking on about a dozen occasions during the film how much I wished I could be watching it in one of those fancy gold-class cinemas with the recliner chairs and whatnot - which kind of detracts from the experience. As much as I'm a fan, I couldn't really recommend this to anyone who isn't also a fan, lover of tripped out art cinema and possessing a comfy comfy chair.

Watching: American Gangster

Here's a quick blurb:

American Gangster is a 2007 crime film written by Steve Zaillian and directed by Ridley Scott. The film stars Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Washington portrays Frank Lucas, a real-life heroin kingpin from Manhattan who smuggled the drug into the country in the coffins of American soldiers returning from the Vietnam War. Crowe portrays Richie Roberts, a detective who brings down Lucas's drug empire.

Here's the trailer:



I really got the sense as I was watching this film that Ridley Scott saw this as an opportunity to make his own The Godfather (with a touch of Goodfellas). Clearly there are a number of differences - it's much more of a cop vs bad guy story than a sprawling crime family thing - but nonetheless, there really was a Godfather vibe to this thing - stylistically at least.

The film uses a lot of the same sombre and dark looks in Godfather, celebrates the whole family thing and even hints during a Thanksgiving sequence at the famous Godfather christening/whacking montage. Music from that culture is used widely (and really effectively, awesome soundtrack of soul, funk and blaxploitation hits including my personal fave "Across 110th St". (This is also a staple of the Scorsese approach)

What the film missed though was depth and this is what puts it into the lower tier of perfectly competent but by-no-means great crime films. The characters are all a little thin - possessing one or two heavily emphasised personal traits (Frank Lucas is smart and capable, Richie Roberts is smart and honest) that you really don't get past. (The fact that Richie Roberts had turned in nearly a million dollars he and a partner had found in a car boot was mentioned at least a dozen times in the story)

It was interesting enough to watch, stylish and cool but ultimately, I didn't really care what happened to any of the characters and Ridley Scott never seemed willing to dwell long enough on any one scene to create any anxiety that something could go wrong.

Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe's performances were fine for the characters they were given, I just wish the characters had been more interesting. All in all, a stylish film and an interesting enough story but nothing amazing

Pwning: Forumwarz

Well ok, perhaps pwning isn't entirely accurate, it's more like playing but I'm just getting into the spirit of the thing.

Forumwarz is an online role-playing game (RPG) that is set in the modern world of Internet forums, with all the associated depravity, leet-speak, clannishness, juvenile behaviour, flaming and whatnot.

I've generally veered well away from the RPG genre in the past because for the most part it seems to revolve around the fantasy/wizards&warriors/dungeons&dragons/warcraft world that I've never really gotten into. (I don't mind fantasy movies - particularly the golden age of them in the 80s and of course the LOTR trilogy - but all in all it just seems a little silly.)

Forumwarz however brings the funny to the RPG genre by mercilessly and outrageously skewering pretty well all the elements of online culture.

You can play as one of three types of online archetypes, making use of your various powers in a range of ways. You can be either a Troll (someone who generally just enjoys being an arsehole to people online with provocative/offensive remarks), an Emo (modern day Goths essentially but angrier and more emotional - these guys tend to whine incessently) or a Camwhore (cute girls who make use of their sexuality to get what they want).

I'm a troll. (Incidentally, I played a Troll in my first dramatic role - a kindergarten production of the 3 billygoats gruff - so i think I know a thing or two about being a troll :)

Gameplay involves a series of missions which increase in difficulty and require you to use your powers to kill discussions in web forums. (Or fora if you prefer to be grammatically correct).

As you progress, you accumulate experience, cred, skills and items which allow you take on tougher and more offensive opponents and keep you engaged by regularly ringing the little "rewards" bell in your brain.

Forum battles involve making an initial comment and then seeing how much damage this does to the board and how much damage the response does to you. You don't type the words as such but rather choose from a selection of attacks - as a troll I have the option to bang my head against my keyboard, post offensive ASCII art, post spoilers, make Yo'Mama jokes and now post bad poetry.

As a Troll (I haven't played as the other classes - yet) I have a supply of ego and a supply of douchebaggery that I need to monitor during the battle to survive - fortunately these can be topped up by buying supplies between battles from the online pharmacy drugs-r-fun (happidex and viagrow) and dodgy dealers under the bridge (anything from nutmeg to a keg of malt liquor). You can also buy dodgy home-made steroids from a jock "friend" or get Bruce the Bear to fix your computer when it takes damage.

It's worth noting that a lot of the content in this game goes out of it's way to mirror the ridiculously offensive stuff that you can find if you trawl the web long enough and before you can join the game you have to type in a disclaimer stating that you are not easily offended.

So far I've battled white supremacists, fecalphiliacs, deathmetal headbangers and furries (fetishests who dress up in animal costumes) and it gets out there - but that said, a lot of the dialogue is community generated and very effectively and humourously skewers the comments of the range of online nutbags.

The game also uses a mock instant messaging client, a mock email system and a mock search engine to progress the story, which quickly sees you enmeshed in a weird conspiracy which may or may not be driven by shadowy govt forces set on dispersing evil code to infiltrate web user's computers.

The game has some artificial gameplay limits - you can only attack four forums a day (you can go back and repwn old fora if you wish to increase your experience and cred - which results in random presents from strangers). The limits are designed to encourage donations to the game makers to support the site (these donations buy you cheats) but I like the limits as it means that you don't get stuck in the game for too long.

I highly recommend this game - but you might want to be mindful of who might wander past your computer as you are playing it - forum titles such as Fitness Faggotry, That's a lot of feces, Konservative Kristian Koalition and Headbangers Hellhole... of Death might give people the wrong idea about your normal browsing habits :)

AWWWing: Fatboy Slim The Joker video with kittens

This video was the winner of a competition that Fatboy Slim put together a little while back to make a clip for his remix of the Steve Miller song The Joker.

It's got kittens. In hats. Need I say any more. :)