It's a good morning

It's a good morning
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

A weeks leave ahead, the view from my hotel and the North Melbourne
1996 grand final on foxtel

Fogbound in Canberra sigh

Fogbound in Canberra sigh
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

Mac Cool

Mac Cool
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

This is the presenter of a 10 hour series of training videos I'm about
to start watching

IMG_0011.jpg

IMG_0011.jpg
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

Wine in a bag 1
Colin 0

Lesson learned: don't try to open the wine tap of your bag'o'wine with a pointy knife

IMG_0011.jpg

IMG_0011.jpg
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

Wine in a bag 1
Colin 0

Lesson learned: don't try to open the wine tap of your bag'o'wine with a pointy knife

The Super-B

The Super-B
Originally uploaded by couchmedia

Yes? Can I help you?

So can I call myself "gangsta" now?

Flicking through the trashmags over breakfast this morning (hey, it was on the table, what am I going to do, get up and look for something else?), I noticed a story about one of the contestants on Australia's Next Top Model.

In essence, Cassi Van Den Dungen caused a little bit of an uproar in our shared home town of Sunbury, Victoria by describing it as ghetto - ok, like a ghetto. (Well, when I say grew up, I lived there till I was 15 - still waiting for test results to prove that I have actually grown up)

According to her fan site, in response to criticisms about her quick temper and bogan nature, she was reported to have said:

"Sunbury’s a good place to grow up in but if you get in with the wrong groups of people, it’s kind of like a ghetto for you."

The fan site goes on to helpfully explain that "The definition of a ghetto is “a slum area occupied by a particular group"."

Now my personal recollections of the place are of a relatively boganish outer outer suburban town - never anything quite so cool or urban as a ghetto but there you have it. (I should mention that I do like the fact that Sunbury is widely held to be the birthplace of The Ashes - the cricket match that prompted the burning of the bails signifying the death of English cricket was held there)

Anyway, blah blah blah, there was the usual town outrage she's since retracted her statement and apologised, all very soft and wussy.

Can I still be gangsta though?

Update: Just noticed the Herald Sun coverage of this story (yes it happened in late April, I'm surprising unworried that I haven't seen it until now) - their reader feedback is superb. They open it with the question: Do you think Cassi Van Den Dungen should continue to live in Sunbury? Let us know below.

(Cue invitation to run her out of town on a rail)

The deliciously bogan-named Shannyn of Digger's Rest chimes in with one of the more reasonable remarks

Yikes!!! Bec had the right idea. Why take a 16 year old seriously? This Cassi girl has done the right thing by getting her publicity, and in a couple of months when the show has finished, no-one will care about her. She'll have to deal with Sunbury when she (if she) comes back because everyone will know her face. THAT'S what I'll be waiting for - and boy will I be laughing my a** off. Posted by: Shannyn of Diggers Rest

And it just gets better from there.

Justin of Sunbury clearly has a few concerns/issues:

Actually... Sunbury is a HOLE, not a ghetto. Apart from the fantastic chicken kebabs at Cheeky's, there not much else going for this bloody boring place. The police are completely useless against moronic garage bands and late night party goers thanks to the molly coddling police ethic these days. They 'could' hand out $500 noise fines... but no. Idiots roam the streets at night smashing up street signs and petrol station signage. New graffiti replaces old as soon as it's cleaned up...and that's IF it's cleaned up. Residents keep voting for the same useless councilors over and over who do pretty much nothing to improve any of the problems because they prefer have group hugs with aimless youth than discipline them and they to pander to Hume/Broadmeadows rather than take care of business right here. There's even some crack head who likes diving into moving vehicles and damaging them

Why would a church make a video with someone wearing a t-shirt that says "Jesus is a c*nt"?

Possibly because they are everyone's favourite bat-shit insane church, the home of "God Hates Fags", the Westboro Baptist Church.

If you haven't already heard of them, the wikipedia link should give you some impression of their beliefs.

Or you could just watch their catchy rendition of their version of "We are the world" - titled "God hates the world". I still find it hard to believe that this isn't some kind of extreme Chaser style prank but it seems like these people are for real.

By the way, if you find yourself nodding your head or thinking "hey, these guys are on to something", you probably haven't read anything else on this blog (or, for that matter, in the bible)

Movie trailers recut David Lynch style

Found some very nice work on YouTube, sadly embedding is disabled but well worth a visit.

First up we have an outstanding glimpse at what Dirty Dancing might have looked like if DL had brought his freak to it. If David Lynch directed Dirty Dancing


This one,  Three Men and a baby - Lynch style, doesn't have a lot to it but is nicely done nonetheless.




And who wouldn't want to see David Lynch's Return of the Jedi

Finally Science comes up with something useful - the Comfort Wipe

A lot of people question the value of Twitter, seeing it as a series of meaningless vanity postings about someone's life - it really comes into it's own though when people share links.As far as I can see, the Comfort Wipe is a real product.

This one came from Clerks director Kevin Smith



His comments are the chocolate icing on the cake:

ThatKevinSmith

As a big fan of thorough ass-wiping, I'm thinking of getting: http://tinyurl.com/mkbe5q But is it a "fat guy" appliance? Is this giving up?

Am I hot or (gee, I wish I could think of a word that would fit there - Microsoft, can you help me?)

United States Patent Application	20090150203
Kind Code	A1
Baudisch; Patrick ;   et al.	June 11, 2009

---

ONLINE PERSONAL APPEARANCE ADVISOR

AbstractArchitecture for providing feedback to a viewer and/or contributor on fashion and other personal appearance decisions that the contributor desires. The contributor uploads self images for viewing and rating (or voting) by viewers who choose provide an opinion on different fashion and/or cosmetic looks of the contributor. The contributor takes images show the contributor presented with a number (e.g., two) of different fashion choices. The snapshots can then be processed for upload to a website or other accessible location by one or more viewers. The viewers can cast a vote for one of the images by selecting the desired image, in response to which the viewer and/or contributor will be presented with overall statistics for that set of images as to how other viewers voted, as well as a next set of photos depicting the user in a different fashion and/or cosmetic choice. This process can continue until terminated.

 According to this US Patent application, Microsoft just invented Am I Hot Or Not?

In December 2007. 

Yeah that'll stick. 

(And corporations wonder why average people laugh at copyright)

Banksy - the gallery show

This looks great - a few pieces remind me other other work (Tweety looks like something by Patricia Piccinini and the Ice Cream van echoes a piece from a Sydney sculpture comp a few years back) but hey, that's art for you.

The Paradise Motel - Back in town.

The Paradise Motel are one of my all time favourite bands - lush (some may say sumptuous) swirling guitar rock with a melancholy pop twinge, fronted by one of the most haunting female vocalists I've ever heard in Merida Sussex.

I saw these guys supporting the Dirty 3 at the Plaza Ballroom, a magical space beneath the Regent Theatre all done up like some kind of fairytale. (Also the first smoke-free gig I'd been to - the restoration of the space had just been finished and they didn't want it getting all dirtied up). I still rank this as one of my best gigs ever.

Very happy to read this morning while idly wondering whatever happened to Merida that they have reformed and recorded a new album, release date as yet unknown.

This clip for one of the songs though suggests that they are back in form - and I was particularly happy to note that it is set in Burnley St, Richmond (95% sure), not far from my old house.

Welcome back guys.



There's also some Paradise Motel spin-off news - a new Melbourne "supergroup" - Lee Memorial

The new band from Karl Smith of Sodastream. Off the album The Lives Of Lee Memorial released on Dot Dash and featuring Laura MacFarlane from Ninety Nine, Tom Lyngcoln the guitarist from Nation Blue and Matt Bailey former bass player with The Paradise Motel.

I'm sure it's stupid but I still want to see it - Mega shark vs Giant octopus

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus is a real film starring Lorenzo (Renegade) Lamas and Debbie (sorry Deborah) Gibson.

I'm hoping they play it perfectly straight down the line serious and don't try to be funny. Either way, I'm sure that it can't be half as good as the trailer but I'd still watch it.

Farewell Frankenstein

Frankenstein! Frankenstein the legend, Frankenstein the indestructible! Sole survivor of the titanic pile-up of '95, only two-time winner of the Transcontinental Road Race... Frankenstein! Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed, and reamed... a dancer on the brink of death... Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98, an arm in '99! With half a face and half a chest, and all the guts in the world.

Other people might laud the recently departed David Carradine for his name-making role as Caine in the tv series Kung Fu or for his recent come-back as Bill (in Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2) but it was his work in Death Race 2000 that I like him most for.

According to the internets, it seems as though it could well have been auto-erotic asphyxiation that killed Carradine (a much cooler term than "tragic wanking accident"), in a weird way I kind of hope it was. The alternative, suicide, is just a bit too much of a bummer.

Anyways, thanks David, you were tops

LOLchoms

Not the best photoshop job I've seen but you've got to love a LOLcat starring Noam Chomsky
Thanks Internetz

The Chaser or The Chafer?

The Chaser boys have set up the jump ramp over the shark tank and are revving the motorcycle while Pinky Truscadero looks on in horror.

Maybe I'm wrong but it seems to me that they are desperately trying to land some lucrative overseas sales (or move altogether), which is why they have prepackaged so much content from their individual world tours last year. They hold onto these clips for dear life in the hope that something vaguely relevant pops up that justifies playing them. (This also means that they don't have to do as much work week to week preparing content that is actually topical)



I thought the sick kids sketch was the highlight last night of a pretty thin show. I've definitely seen that Oscar movie sketch done (better) elsewhere and I thought that the bored expression on the cops face at Buckingham Palace said it all. His comments about them going away if he gives them the punchline they so clearly wanted so they could get some laughs for their show were pure pwnage. (Points to the team for including them).

The Fritzl sketch was outrage for outrage's sake - way to stick it to a girl who was imprisoned in a basement for decades, raped repeatedly and made to bear children to her demented father. That'll show her. Seriously guys, satire is really meant to stick it to the powerful. Inbreeding and incest is funny (wrong but funny) when it's consensual but this just wasn't cool and seemed a lot more like callous attention seeking.

Generally speaking, the skits where you pick on poor schmucks working in shops or dumb vox popees on the street are similarly weak and paint you as self important tossers. I'll admit that I laughed when you did the whole bandit/stocking mask thing last season but when I think about it, those poor shopkeepers didn't deserve that kind of fright just for turning up to work.

How about trying a little harder to be funny (like the original newspaper) and a little less hard to be the naughty attention seeking boys sticking it to soft (and dated) targets.

Interestingly, it seems like the sick kids sketch - The make a realistic wish foundation - is the one that has got the Limited News media all upset.

Viewers swamped the ABC's switchboard with complaints after The Chaser's War On Everything skit called "Make a Realistic Wish Foundation", the Daily Telegraph reports.

Chaser members Andrew Hansen and Chris Taylor asked actors playing terminally ill children what they wished for.

One girl's wish was to meet Hollywood teen heartthrob Zac Efron, but instead she was handed a stick by Taylor who tells the camera, "why go to any trouble when they're going to die anyway".

Taylor went on to say the foundation's aim was to help "thousands of kids to lower their extravagance and selfishness in the face of death".

Update: Evidently my keen eye for outrage has failed me again and it is indeed the "Make a realistic wish foundation" sketch that has stirred everyone up, to the point that they have issued an apology and are cutting the sketch from a repeat of the show this even.

Sure, sick kiddies are poor taste but I still can't help feeling that the Fritzl sketch was worse.

I thought I'd coined a new word but Google told me I was wrong

The new word?

Mehtitude - feeling meh about things

At present there are 414 other instances of this word listed in Google. Oh well, meh.

Gillette: Because every man should look like a 10 year old boy

The most disturbing part of this video is that the guy appears to have accidently cut his penis off and hasn't yet noticed.

Total Eclipse of the...WTF - Arthur Fonzarelli has an army of clones

I have blogged about the literal music videos created by Dust films previously, but I have to mention this particular effort from dascottjr, it's his take on Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart.

I still have tears at the corners of my eyes from one viewing of this clip - they have done some incredibly beautiful work here. Kudos.




Ok, here's another - the literal version of The Beatle's Penny Lane.